When I say I’m a school counselor. People say, “Oh, in a high school?” Nope. Elementary. And invariably I get asked, “Why does an elementary school need counselors?”
Well, I love to answer that question. Counselors in elementary schools are more necessary than the public knows. When I think of my elementary experience as a child, I remember recess, lunches and building communities out of Kleenex boxes and clothes pins. Now, the elementary school experiences are preparing for tests, learning social skills, manners, character, getting fed food and more testing. At least that has been my experience in a large urban city school.
Our students as young as kindergarten struggle with emotional disorders, that sometimes are genetic, not only environmental. They respond the only way they know how, by lashing out and resisting the stable, structured environment of the classroom. Many times that is their first contact with structure. After many interventions, if the behavior is out of control, the police have had to intervene and sometimes even mental institutions.
Students struggle to fit in in an environment that is so against them. They have to survive their home lives, which may or may not be good, and the other children. They take risks by “ignoring” or “walking away” from a tempting dig. Yet they are called a “snitch” and ostracized by the others if they seek help. We have met with students who, by the influence of others, are huffing freon, smoking, drinking, threatening other students with weapons and even contemplating suicide.
Even though media and current technologies are pushing us beyond what we could imagine, it also raises a lot of issues with the improper use of those things. We have had to deal with these young students wanting to be grown, sending inappropriate pictures through texts, creating social media sites to humiliate classmates, and simply having unsupervised access to the WORLD Wide Web. (It’s called that for a reason. I always tell parents letting your child have unlimited access is like dropping them off in downtown and leaving. — side note.)
And the teachers, even though they are wonderful, are human. They struggle with their own personal lives as well as taking on the personal issues of the 25 or more students in their class or classes. They are constantly dealing with the behavioral issues that is taking time away from their preparation for the many tests, the valuable learning, and the many walkthroughs and observations that is critiquing their teaching styles (which they take very seriously). We counsel and brainstorm with teachers very frequently.
Parents, what can I say? I am one. It is definitely a daily learning experience all it’s own. But I will say, as a parent, we have to want to learn. We have to put away our selfish desires and what is easiest to do for the benefit of our children. We cannot ignore a problem and think it’s going to go away. We have met with many a parent that need just the simple guidelines of rewards and consequences. They need to hear that a child needs to earn some of those privileges they are handing them for free. That the children actually need to feel like a contributing part of the family. And the most common sentence that I say on a daily basis is…parents must be consistent and “say what you mean, mean what you say.”. Please don’t tell your child you are going to send them to another country or take away their birthday party, unless you are willing to do it. The child knows based on your past responses whether you are serious or not. (By the way, I don’t suggest that any parent use those “threats.”)
This is just a small sampling of what we may experience on a daily basis. This does not include the parent conferences, Student Support Team meetings, staff meetings, trainings, and the many coordinating of special weeks like Red Ribbon Week, etc., testing, volunteers, benefits, awards assemblies, duties in the cafeteria or bus. OH YEAH, and one of the most important parts is classroom guidance, individual and group counseling! So, if you’re wondering what took me so long to write the first article for our website…now you know. ;0) –Leah
